Mission Impossible

Ok so this is not the blog I had been intending to write the past two weeks, I might get to that later. I just tried to make a sandwich for myself, and felt the need to share the episode. Yes, perhaps it was slightly ambitious as it was going to be a grilled cheese sandwich!!! But nonetheless, it was a sandwich. A badly bloody needed sandwich!!

I glance around, no little people. 2 outside and 1 in her room.These kids are clever I tell you. The use serious tactics. I sweep the floor, they raid the biscuit tin. I sweep the front yard, they decide to dig the moss up from between the cobble bricks. I put their school bags away, they take them out, upside down, you know, so the pencil parings can spill everywhere. But the coast, at that very moment in time, was clear...

Seizing the opportunity, I head to the bread bin, I just have my hands on the slice pan and I swear they heard me open the lid. All of a sudden there were 3 counter height little people accosting me from all angles, and obstructing my sandwich making efforts by any means they could.

I tried pleading with them... can you just let mammy make a sandwich, she's really hungry. Go on out of the kitchen, or at least stand in any other spot on the floor, apart from the one I'm trying to stand on... ANY other spot.

Our eldest lad decides to stand ON the counter, practically on my plate, his little ass in front of me as I butter my toast frantically, while he rummages in the press. He lets on he's looking for vitamins... sure, what else?? Meanwhile, one slice of toast has vanished from the plate by a tiny 2 year old hand and I saw 2 slices of cheese intercepted by our middle chappy. Went over to pick the discarded toast up off the floor and return to my sandwich making post to find darling  2 year olds hands in the butter!!!!

Sandwich achieved, I sit on the couch to eat, two of the kids now decide they will stand behind me on the couch, one screams in my ear 'Peek a Boo'... not fun! The youngest has her arms squeezed so tightly around my neck I'm literally finding it difficult to breath, let alone swallow.

Sonja, are you losing weight?...

YOU TRY MAKING AND EATING A SANDWICH IN OUR HOUSE!!!