'Organised'?

 

Something most odd happening around here this evening. I found myself standing in our kitchen and felt that nervous feeling in the pit of my tummy, like I had a million things to do, when it suddenly hit me. The odd thing that was happening was 'peace'... I just had not recognised it. For some strange reason the kids went off to bed and straight to sleep without any hijinks. Most strange. Yet, there I was standing in our kitchen in complete silence in standby mode with "GO TO SLEEP" on the tip of my tongue and consuming my every thought until it finally dawned on me that they actually were?!?!? Instead of jumping for joy I was disconcerted (never happy). Just why were they asleep so quickly this evening? No change to the routine, same amount of biscuits with supper. So foreign was the feeling I actually checked the carbon monoxide monitor... it was fine. I finally accepted our kids were actually asleep, they just were.

My stomach leapt again. Right they are asleep, so this is the perfect time to catch up on something.I encounter another strange feeling. Most foreign indeed. HOLY WHATEVER!! Could it be that I am actually getting quite accomplished at being organised? I look around at the two neatly pressed uniforms for the morning. God I am brilliant. I am organised. Stomach lurches just once more. Surely there is something I have missed. I open the fridge and double check I had actually placed the two little blue lunch boxes with freshly made ham sambos into the fridge for school in the morning. Yeh, I did that too. I honestly began to panic a little. What did I do differently? Nothing, in fact I did more running around than usual today but I still couldn't fathom it. Is this how organised feels?

I could get very used to these "cool smooth as ice-cream days" every once in a while, if only I could predict or know or fix them to be on the days I really need them and not once in a blue moon. How is it on the days when you really need things to run smoothly, they just don't? And in actual fact go quite the opposite inspite of all efforts?

I was attending a cousin's wedding last weekend, for which I would be away from home for 2 whole nights. To say I was tasting moments of anxiety is quite fair. I was exhausted, and for once decided to be sensible and get a bus to the 'big smoke'. It had been quite a number of years since I had used this service and I was pleasantly surprised and delighted by the on board wi-fi. Such a nerd!

Wi-Fi aside, I only had to get ready for my excursion with our youngest little girl cub at the helms, while her brothers kindly played outside. I was going to catch a bus. This meant I had a time I needed to leave..., so that was a new thing as I was now quite literally on a clock. The second novelty was not having a car boot to shove last minute packing into. I had a little overnight case, lying there looking like it wouldn't fit my toothbrush. I foolishly thought this was totally achievable. I set out to complete the challenge, with baby girl following me around as I tizzied about to find various lotions, potions and paints required for most female guests at a wedding, she was under my feet which was slowing me down, and quite annoying, but when she was not under my feet she was in even more trouble and that was more annoying.

I kid you not when I say, this one little girl wreaked havoc and chaos wherever I went, and wherever I didn't. I encountered; loo roll unravelled and pulled a sunder with some stuffed in the loo and some in the bath. An emptied jewellery box which she then used to step on to climb onto the bed. Every single baby wipe AND nappy sack was ripped from their respective packing and when I tried to place her with the Nanny Youtube for a few minutes I came back to pen scribbled all over my office chair (it's beige by the way). Exasperating. An absolute monkey.

Such a stark contrast to today... beautiful calm today. How I wish I could bottle it and open it up on the days when I most need it.