COUPÈS & CASHEW NUTS

You'd think with the kids at school, a grocery shop would be a piece of cake. Alas, no. I am sitting in my car doing my post 'take off' check. Bags, yep. Wallet, yep. Make-up (of course), yep. Water (always thirsty), yep. Back door locked, yep, and back door keys safely inside car, on passenger seat, because I have a tendency to leave them in the back door when I go places... yep.

Rightio, excellent, ready for take-off. I get into drive mode. Crank up the radio, and am quite relishing the prospect of a solo grocery shop without having to do a rendition of 'Let it Go', or set Stampy up on YouTube, while I toss all sorts of healthy stuff into my shopping trolley. Although, you would miss their smathery little faces in the rearview mirror.

I fumble around the ignition area to start the engine... Feck it! The car keys are on the kitchen counter (I hope). Great start!

Driving to the shop, in free spirit mode, I sing and dance a little, and pretend I am driving my old coupe and not the delightful mummy wagon I need to right now, 3 car seats and all that. My nostalgia, encouraged by songs that were out 10 years ago, only interrupted when I need to duck into ditches to avoid the countless number of vehicle- driving lunatics that one girl, and her mummy wagon, can encounter on a country road.

I make it to the car park, a lovely spot right next to the trolleys AND the parking meter thing AND the lifts. I'm just in brilliant mode now. Check wallet, excellent... a shiny euro coin for the trolley. Luck is on my side. I check the coins for the parking thing. Please let there be some gold ones, we have no use for the brown coins here, no parking thing takes brown coins, which is really quite an inconvenience because they're usually the ones we have most of.

Parking transaction complete, I take a peep at the ticket, and laugh at myself for nearly putting the wrong side of the slip up. Ha! I bet they love when that happens, so they don't have to refund the parking when you 'check out'. But I'm wise to it, God I am brilliant today. BUT HANG ON just one second, what the hell is this? Half and hour??? I have half an hour to complete my weekly shop and be back to the car. I scrunch my face and squint and check the time again... half an hour. I check the parking rates and times on the parking thing and it says 50 cent for half an hour. I start to sweat a little because quite frankly, I'd sooner write a thesis than calculate simple arithmetic. So... if 50 cent is half and hour, a euro is an hour. I put in 90 cent (it was all the gold I had), so that should make almost an hour.  I remark to a couple of other mums about the scamming little parking machine,  and head off tutting to do my shopping, which consequently took a little over an hour.

I had a good old look at labels, and loads of healthy foods I didn't know existed. I cooked some healthy meals in my head as I dawdled around with my trolley. The budget was there at the back of my mind but this was 'the' shop, you know the one that happens at least once a month where everything runs out at the same time, and your budget is blown to pieces. When I get to the check out I hold a few things to one side, giving the nod and humble request to the check out lady to see 'how I'm doing when you get to the Valentines Card'. Alarm bells went off and I then gave the lady the look that said, I'll leave the rest of that there, nudge nudge wink wink. That was all my healthy food I left behind by the way and I really wanted that creamy cashew nut butter too. I had such plans.

Club card? No, sorry I forgot that. Voucher? Yes, oh, no, sorry, I forgot that too. Pop your card in so. I look at the queue, they're a sullen looking bunch. It's quite a long queue now, and I suppose they have been quite patient with me. I turn to the lady next in line and explain, I'm really sorry I just have to nip down to my car, I've forgotten my bank card, I'll just be a second. I thank my lucky stars I didn't change out of gym gear and sprint to the car and back to the counter again. I'm sure they will think I'm brilliant for being so fast. I puff, pant, apologise, put in pin. Cash back? no, I doubt it at this point.
The lady behind mutters something about me probably forgetting it. I laugh it off but ouch! No need. I can take the proverbial out of myself, but you stranger, cannot.

I actually think I will go shopping with my kids from now on, I am definitely more organised when they are around. Sonja x